'Working from home has helped me be a better mum'

Martha was struggling to sleep, losing her hair, having palpitations, suffering tinnitus and was eventually hospitalised for deep vein thrombosis.

She would come home from her job, as her daughter Amelie said, "grumpy and stressed".

Martha described "getting home, eating, and working again. I wasn't the best mum that I could be. It was a bit of a blur after work. It was constant."

Something had to give - so Martha changed her 60-hour weeks as a teacher for 30 hours a week working from home as a virtual assistant.

Amelie and her brothers, Otis and Barnaby, suddenly had their mum around again.

And research has backed up the family's experience, with neuroscientists agreeing it's good for children for parents to be more available.

Finance is the main limitation when it comes to being able to work shorter hours.

Prof Sam Wass, a neuroscientist at the University of East London, studies children's brain development and behaviour.

"For a lot of families, this is a resources question: Can I afford to work four days a week?

"Can I afford to knock off work at three o'clock in the afternoon to pick up the kids from school?

But, he said, "the research on this is pretty clear. For families where the parent is more engaged, children's academic outcomes are better, and their long-term mental health outcomes are better too."

The move has "transformed" Martha's relationship with her children.

"I appreciate the fact that I'm living my life with them, and I'm not just bundled off into a school in a different borough where I can't see them."

Her children agree. Amelie, 14, said it was "so nice" to have her mum around.

"If I'm not having a very good day at school, then I'll come home and I'll just talk her about the dramas going on."

Barnaby, 10, added: "The thing that makes it nice is that she's there - even if she's on a meeting, it's nice to just have that moment of conversation."

Parents do not need to make such a wholesale change as Martha, Prof Wass said, as studies showed just five to 10 minutes of attention could have a beneficial effect on children.

"In the morning, for example, it's very easy - I'm exactly the same - to be very focused on 'I've got to do this' and then you've got your list of jobs to do in a hurry.

"But just to take five minutes to wipe all of that out of your mind and say, 'OK, I'm going to sit and I'm going to play with my kids, I'm going to watch and respond to what they're interested in, this isn't about me and what I need to get done, this is about me being there for the child and supporting my child in what they want to do'."

He added: "This type of child-led learning, where you're sitting and responding and sustaining and helping them to engage in what they're interested in, is really, really important for child outcomes.

"But the other thing is, it's great for you as a parent too, just to force yourself to forget your day-to-day worries and to be there with your child really, really helps you to manage your stress and to manage your bad moods at the same time."

Working from home became normalised during the pandemic, with many people reluctant to return to the office once lockdown ended.

But the culture of home working is coming under pressure from businesses and commentators claiming to be concerned over its impact on the economy.

Mayor of London Sir Sadiq Khan has said central London was being "emptied out", while organisations including the Metropolitan Police are bringing in requirements for staff to work a standard number of days in the office.

Not every job has the option to work from home; those who work on construction sites, in schools, hospitals or shift-based roles in hospitality and shops for example, cannot.

Clare McNeil from Timewise, a social enterprise which helps employers support flexible working, said although it was great that there had been a rise in hybrid working, they were concerned about workers who had not benefitted from this cultural shift.

"Our work shows that you can, even in these frontline roles, introduce greater choice around shifts and working patterns to introduce greater flexibility through team-based working for example," she said.

"We want more workers to be able to benefit from these opportunities, thinking about the impact on children and families as well."

The employment rights bill which is making its way through parliament, will make flexible working the "default" for all workers.

Employers are required to say yes to requests from staff from their first day starting in a job unless they can prove it is "unreasonable".

The government defines flexible working as a way of working "that suits an employee's needs", for example, having flexible start and finish times, or working from home.

Employees can already request flexible working from their first day in a job, but an employer can refuse an application if they have a good business reason for doing so.

"We are hopeful that the government's legislation that they're introducing will be an opportunity for more work, more employers to think differently about how they design jobs," Ms McNeil added.

John Dickie, chief executive at BusinessLDN, said there was no one-size-fits-all when it comes to flexible working, and decisions about work arrangements would be unique for every business because every business is unique.

He said: "Flexible working has many benefits, especially when it comes to employee wellbeing for those juggling multiple responsibilities. Equally, there's no substitute for the enhanced productivity, innovation and creativity that stems from doing business in person.

"Business growth hinges on personal connections and long-term commercial relationships. There are some things you simply can't do over zoom. Getting the balance right is crucial to success."

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