'I was a full-time carer – I didn't even realise'

A woman who did not realise she was acting as a full-time carer for her brother is warning that many others could be in the same situation and in need of support

Louise Ndibwirende, 36, from Eastville in Bristol, has been caring for her older sibling with his acute mental health needs since 2023.

Her work-life balance has been "challenging" and she described how she felt "seen" and shocked when her doctor explained that she had become a carer.

She said: "It was a turning point. Naming it really helped, I realised I wasn't struggling because I just couldn't cope - there was a reason."

A charity called Carers Support Bristol and South Gloucestershire has been supporting her ever since, and during Carers Week, which ran until Sunday, it has been raising awareness about the challenges faced by unpaid carers

Ms Ndibwirende, who works for a mental health charity, said she and her brother were adopted together by a French family so they had a "close bond".

She said she would "go to the ends of the earth to make sure [he's] okay".

When she first noticed her brother "wasn't being himself" she started started for him through "small acts that felt very normal".

"I did a lot of learning on the job with no manual on how to do it," she added.

Her main role as his carer is supporting him with his mental health struggles and making sure he is receiving the correct medical support.

Over time, she became her brother's advocate with mental health teams, but the responsibility gradually took a toll on her own well-being.

"I wasn't sleeping well and my anxiety was quite strong, it became hard to concentrate at my job," she said.

She said she didn't see herself as a carer because "people normally hear the story of family members caring for their older parents or relatives with a long-term disability - not necessarily siblings".

Caring for someone else is a "heavy thing to hold", she added.

Ms Ndibwirende has urged other people in a similar situation to reach out for help.

"There are places to go, like Bristol Black Carers, for when you need support," she added.

Lucy Giles, interim CEO of Carers Support, said: "Many people, like Louise, start caring for loved ones out of compassion, not realising they are becoming carers.

"Her story underscores the need for support and recognition for all carers, especially those from diverse backgrounds," she added.

"We are here for all carers in Bristol and South Gloucestershire."

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