Woman launches journal project for baby loss

A woman who suffered baby loss 28 weeks into her pregnancy has set up a project to help others coping with bereavement.

Zoe Wilbourne, from Attleborough, Norfolk, fell pregnant six years after being told she could not have children.

But a few months into her pregnancy in January, it became clear to doctors that baby Matilda had very serious medical conditions and Ms Wilbourne was advised to have a termination for medical reasons.

The 25-year-old turned to journaling to deal with her emotional struggles, before setting up Matilda's Legacy, designing grief books for others dealing with baby loss.

Ms Wilbourne said: "We was so shocked to find out that we was pregnant in the first place after being told for so long that it wasn't going to happen."

"Obviously we was over the moon, and then it slowly was all taken away from us."

She said they were advised by various medical experts that Matilda "would have no quality of life and would not even be able to sit in a wheelchair due to her serious conditions".

Ms Wilbourne was offered a termination "for medical reasons a few times, but it wasn't until we had checked every available avenue to change her outcome did we make the decision to have a medical termination and induced labour".

Ms Wilbourne struggled to deal with the loss, despite having a supportive partner and family.

"My actual bereavement midwives were absolutely brilliant. I can't fault them at all," she said.

"However I have ADHD and really struggle talking about my emotions. I bottle things up and then let them come out in different ways, which isn't good for me."

She decided to start writing Matilda a letter each day, expressing her daily emotions.

"I could go back and reflect on my good days and my bad days, and know that I am getting there, making progress with coming to terms with what happened," she said.

Ms Wilbourne added that the "privacy of the journal", essentially a conversation between herself and her baby, was, she believed, the secret of its success for her.

"Nobody else has to see what I've said. I can be 100% honest with how I'm feeling," she said.

Ms Wilbourne said she finds talking to new people difficult and journaling is something she can do herself, knowing "nobody is going to question me on it, unless I want to share it".

For every two notebooks sold, one would be donated to her local bereavement midwife team, to give to women who have lost a child, as well as fathers and siblings.

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