Trans priest felt 'God couldn't possibly love me'

"I really felt that there wasn't a place for me in the church," a transgender priest has told the BBC.

Reverend Robyn Golden-Hann was ordained in the Church of England in 2023, and now serves at St. Aldhelm's Church in Poole.

She had previously been a stonemason, before a "mid-life crisis" in her 40s ended with her transitioning.

"I worked as a stonemason in very many different capacities, but laying those tools aside and coming into ministry - that in itself has been another transition," she said.

"In my wildest dreams, I never ever would have imagined that I would have been ordained and become a priest.

"I think I was struggling with a lot of my own demons, a lot of my own issues, and I really felt that God couldn't possibly love me and there couldn't be a place for me within the church."

The 58-year-old, originally from Wells in Somerset, had previously been married with children.

But when she reached the age of 40, "one life came crashing to an end".

"One winter, I got this terrible, terrible flu and I thought I was dying, and I really felt a sense that actually, I've had enough now," she said.

"As I recovered I realized that I simply can't go on beating myself up like this, and that was the beginning of, of the healing of my, my relationship with God.

"Not being angry with God for being trans, but actually accepting, 'okay, well, that's the way you've made me', so I have to do something about that and I have to live with that reality."

In the hope of improving her relationship with God, Rev Golden-Hann decided to peruse a life in the ministry - and was ordained as a priest in July 2023.

She said her personal experience in the church since her transition had been "unremittingly positive".

"In my youth, I really felt as if I was wearing a suit of armour," Rev Golden-Hann told the BBC.

"Yet when I was courageous enough to take that suit of armour off, I found that actually people responded with kindness and love when I was willing to put down my own defensive shield.

"Then I was able to hold out my own arms and hug the world and receive the love and the hugs that the world had to offer me."

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