Family will treasure teen's 'flame of compassion'

A teenager found dead in a river in Dorset, 70 days after going missing, should be remembered as "an incredibly compassionate, creative and loving" person, rather than "a body that was found", their family has said.

Alex Bendall, 18, who was also known as Alice, vanished on 11 February 2023 on a walk home from Dorchester to Charminster, prompting a prolonged police search. Alex was eventually found dead by a dog walker on 22 April.

At the inquest into Alex's death, Dorset Coroner, Rachel Griffin, recorded an open conclusion and explained she was "satisfied there is insufficient evidence Alex died by suicide".

Alex's mother, Vicky Hoddinott and siblings, Will and Mary, told the BBC Alex was not a "messed up" or "troubled" teenager, but a child who had endured lasting trauma.

It was only after Alex's death they discovered evidence suggesting the teenager they adored had been a victim of childhood sexual abuse.

Will said: "It was a real shock to all of us. Al kept it a secret, to protect us."

Notes in a diary they found talked about a "rape" and a friend then revealed Alex had confided in them about the abuse, describing in detail the anguish it had caused.

Vicky, Will and Mary are now certain the sexual abuse was the cause of a sudden and appalling decline in Alex's mental health.

Vicky said: "As a mum, discovering the events of the past has been painful".

"Not only has our present been turned upside down and our future, we're now having to rewrite the memories of our past, which is harrowing."

Alex never reported the abuse, but once the evidence surfaced, Dorset Police carried out an investigation.

In a statement, the force said: "All police enquiries into this matter have concluded without any charges being brought."

Alex officially changed name and gender after turning 18.

While given the birth name Alice, at home Alex was usually called "Bunky" - an affectionate childhood nickname.

All three names were written on Alex's coffin.

Alex's brother Will said if people took anything away from the inquest he wanted it to be that "Al was not just a headline, not just a statistic, there was a real person underneath".

His sister Mary added: "Often people see the tragedy and the result of abuse, but they don't spot the abuse as it's happening, in order to prevent the tragedy.

"So, with Alice, it is devastating that she died and I think what's even more upsetting is the abuse that caused it. And how that went unnoticed."

Bournemouth Coroner's Court heard Alex was last seen alive on 11 February 2023 in Cornwall Road, Dorchester.

Mrs Griffin said: "Alex was a young person, they had clearly during their life had some trouble in relation to their mental health.

"But it's important to note that in the time leading up to their death, they seemed to be in a positive place, " she added.

The inquest heard Alex had sent a text to Will, who was away university at the time, saying "looking forward to you coming home".

Statements from Dorset Police explained there were internet searches on Alex's laptop on 11 February, including "is drinking entire bottle of vodka going to kill me?".

Alex's body was discovered in the River Frome, near Lubbecke Way in Dorchester on 22 April 22.

In her closing statement, Mrs Griffin said: "It would be purely speculative to say how Alex entered the water, whether there was an intention or whether there was an accident.

She said she had "no evidence at all" of what happened between 20:14 on 11 February, until 22 April.

"Unfortunately, therefore, I cannot say how Alex came by their death on the basis of the evidence provided to me. I have no other option other than to record an open conclusion.

"There's no indication that they did an act intending to end their life."

Mary, Will and Vicky said they were now committed to raising awareness of child sexual abuse.

Vicky described Alex as "deeply caring" with an "incredible sense of justice".

"She was always going to fight for people who needed fighting for", she said.

"But however strongly she spoke up for other people, she rarely spoke up for herself and that's what we now have to do for Alice and keep her flame of compassion alive."

Vicky and Mary are running the London Marathon in April to raise money for the NSPCC to "support children in their quest to identify abuse and hopefully give them the courage to disclose it"

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