Skip to content

Parents wish to normalise talking about suicide

Eleanor Maslin
BBC News
Family handout A woman wearing a winter hat with rectangular glasses, a scarf and pink jumper smiling into the camera next to a man with short brown hair also wearing glasses. A young girl wearing all pink including a pink hat is sat on his shoulders smiling.Family handout
Evelyn Gibson took her own life at the age of 15 and her parents are campaigning to normalise conversations about suicide

The parents of a teenager who took her own life are campaigning to normalise talking about suicide to create "more open conversations".

Jenni and Jack Swift, from Grantham, are mum and stepdad to Evelyn Gibson, who had a history of complex mental health issues and killed herself aged 15.

Mrs Swift said there was an "inherent fear" around discussing suicide, but that talking about it can lead to "better communication".

In collaboration with Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) and ITV, Jenni and Jack have created a YouTube video of Evelyn leading up to what would have been her 16th birthday in a bid to raise awareness of youth suicide in the UK.

Family handout A young girl with a wide teethy smile sat in a red diner chair in a cafe holding a large ice-cream sundae. She has blonde hair in plaits and a red and blue polka-dot top on.Family handout
New research by CALM found that 6,929 young adults in the UK lost their lives to suicide in the last decade

Talking about her experience of discussing suicide with Evelyn, Mrs Swift said: "I was frightened to use the word suicide in case I was wrong.

"I skirted around the issue and we spoke about having dark thoughts but we were mis-communicating.

"When we had more open conversations it just led to such better communication, she was a lot more open with us."

Mr Swift added: "Talking about suicide doesn't cause it but it could help someone."

Family handout A teenage girl with shoulder length blonde hair wearing a silver necklace and grey jumper smiling into the camera. She is stood in a room of the house holding up two pink balloons, one says 1 and the other says 5.Family handout
An inquest into Evelyn's death found that inadequate aftercare support after she was discharged from hospital contributed to her death

In terms of advice for how to talk to someone if they are suicidal, Mrs Swift said "it's about validating, listening without judgement and not rushing to fix it".

Evelyn loved watercolour painting and baking, and she made a cake for her local police station during the Covid-19 lockdown.

"She cared about other people more than herself," Mr Swift said.

Mrs Swift added: "I think she'd be really embarrassed by the video, the idea of her face being everywhere.

"But I think she'd be really proud of the idea that she's helping other people, because that's what she stood for."

Family handout A young girl sat at a table looking down and smiling at a white and pink birthday cake. She has short blonde hair and is wearing a pink top. It looks like it is a screenshot from a home video.Family handout
Evelyn's mum said she had a "really big heart" and would be proud to be helping other people

Simon Gunning, CEO of CALM, said: "Young people are facing immense social challenges and economic pressures, which is why we've taken it upon ourselves to fill that gap now with the CALM C.A.R.E Kit, which we're urging absolutely everyone to save, share and bookmark.

"By starting life-saving conversations, we can all do our bit to help a young person find a way forward and make sure they never believe that suicide is their only option."

Need help? If you have been affected by this story the BBC Action Line web page features a list of organisations which are ready to provide support and advice.

Listen to highlights from Lincolnshire on BBC Sounds, watch the latest episode of Look North or tell us about a story you think we should be covering here.

More on this story
Related internet links