What it's like to have an eating disorder at Christmas

Christmas can be a tough time of year when you have an eating disorder.

There's so much emphasis on food and over-indulging, which 29-year-old Rebecca says caused her "so much stress".

Her Christmases of 2008, 2009 and 2010 were all spent in hospital because of anorexia, but the thought of missing out on fun times with her family was what eventually helped her recover.

She's been sharing her story with Newsbeat.

Rebecca says the Christmases she spent in hospital were "incredibly lonely and sad occasions".

In 2010 she had been living in hospital since June and was being tube-fed when Christmas Day came around.

"I had been told I could go home for a few hours in the afternoon. But when my mum came to collect me I became very nervous and panicky.

"Eventually I calmed down and got in the car to go home.

"But when we parked up on the drive, I looked at my home and I felt terrified. I associated my home with how it had been when I left it - full of worry, tears and exhaustion."

Eventually Rebecca's mum had to drive her back to hospital because it was too much for her to go inside, but she says it was also a turning point for her.

"I started to hate anorexia. It had caused all this, made me a broken person.

"As I sat alone, thinking about my family at home eating Christmas dinner together, playing games, watching TV, I so desperately wanted to be there and join in.

"I wanted to be able to eat a chocolate from the boxes that always pop up around Christmas time. I wanted to be able to enjoy what should be a special occasion."

In June 2011 Rebecca was discharged from hospital and has spent every Christmas at home since.

"Now I love being at home for Christmas.

"Sitting round the table and joining in with the meal, the build-up throughout December going shopping and to Christmas parties, gathering round the tree to open presents, having that Quality Street in the evening.

"All of this wasn't possible before. And I won't let it be taken from me again."

Dr. Prathiba Chitsabesan is Associate Clinical Director for Children and Young People's Mental Health at NHS England and says: "Eating disorders are a struggle year-round but are particularly tough at Christmas.

"What should be a relaxing and rewarding time of year can end up becoming a pressured and punishing period if you or someone in your family is managing an eating disorder."

NHS England and the eating disorder charity Beat have teamed up to publish new guidance based on first-hand experiences of having an eating disorder over Christmas. They suggest:

1) Minimising the social expectations of people with disorders over the holiday

2) Treating meals on Christmas Day as routinely as possible

3) Serving food as a buffet rather than as sit-down meals

4) Planning ahead and thinking about how food features in your days

5) Once dinner is over, shift the focus on to other activities like playing games or watching a family film

If you're struggling with an eating disorder you can find help at BBC Advice.

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